Juicy Gossip, Life as Lauren

Why I Will Always Remember 2014

The year of 2014 was easily the roughest year of my life. But I guess sometimes in life it’s the rough things that teach us how to grow as a person. Reflecting upon this year, I could not be more grateful the year is coming to a close. Bad experience after another, bad news over and over again was the story of my life.  Walking into 2014, I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted or what my motivation was in life. I didn’t know who I was as a person. I can finally say I have found myself again. I have been through some life experiences at the age of sixteen that I would not want any other human to deal with. Ever. But I believe that everything truly does happen for a reason. Maybe the reasons we are given obstacles in life is to test how strong we really are. Ultimately, that what I am, I am stronger. I believe that even though I have been put through struggle after struggle, I can sit here and type this knowing that I have taken something positive out of such a negative experience.

In a million years, I would never would have thought that the hardships that I have overcome this year, would have ever happened to me. I am a levelheaded, well spoken, conscientious individual. Sometimes even the most well thought out people are the most vulnerable. Earlier this year, I was a victim of an extremely abusive relationship. Though I do not wish to go into detail about it, I will always remember sitting in my room every night during the month of March, crying my eyes out and feeling helpless and unimportant. Nothing in the world could ever be worse than the feeling of being unwanted. I let someone’s negativity and hateful words bring me down. I threw pity parties every night and the only person who would ever come was myself. After two and a half months of no one showing up to my pity parties, I realized why. I kept putting myself in this situation and I was treating myself like crap while letting others walk all over me. The only person that controls your happiness in this world is you.

On my birthday on April 30th, most of my friends forgot it was my birthday and ended up not coming to my parties because they made other plans. In May, I was knocked in the head and had an extremely severe concussion which made me lose some partial memory. In June, I ended up finding out that my boyfriend at the time cheated on me. In late August, my best friend was involved in a severe accident and became paralyzed. In late October, my mom was involved in a car crash with my younger sister. In early November, my boyfriend who I viewed as my best friend broke up and left me without an apology or explanation. In early December, my father had faced a lot of medical issues which took a deep, emotional toll on me.

But what is the point in listing all of this stuff? What is the point on harping on all of the bad things that have happened? Instead, I look back and thing that I have been through a HELL of a lot and I’m proud of myself for getting through it. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve experienced some rough things. But the great part in that is that I know that they have only made me stronger as a person. I have only become stronger. My faults and failures are what makes me stronger. I truly think that this year has taught me the most about myself. I have grown so much as a person that sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m only sixteen.

I look back upon everything and smile because I know I can. Even though some nights, I thought it would be impossible to smile ever again, I know now that it’s not. Life is a beautiful thing that in a sense, we never know what to expect. But we can control it by being positive. Optimism is the key to success. And success will come failure but it will always be rewarded in the end.

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