Let’s face it, finding love in this day in age seems next to impossible. If you’re anything like me, you’ve tried it all. You’ve went on Tinder dates with sketchy guys, you’ve been on awkward blind dates, and you’ve had your heart broken when you found out the guy who sent you flirty messages is taken. You’ve searched and searched but you’re convinced that you’re pretty much going to die alone and the only
friend you’re ever going to ever have is yourself. Seven months ago, this was me. I had just gotten out of a relationship that had ended on bad terms. I was heartbroken. I would lay alone in bed and just cry and go through my text messages and analyze everything that went wrong. I was so sad and I felt my depression taking over my life. I decided that I couldn’t do this to myself anymore and that I couldn’t deal with my constant obsession over checking my ex’s twitter every twenty minutes and that I was going to change. I told myself I was going to work on myself and not focus on a relationship. Little did I know what was actually in store for me.
The day I met my boyfriend, everything changed. The first time I saw Tyler, I didn’t feel any different. There were no angels harmonizing in the background, no slow motion walking, and the clouds definitely did not part. But something about him was so different. I was pretty fresh out of my last relationship when I met Tyler so I really wasn’t serious about actively seeking anything. We gave each other a hug and went out to lunch and talked. Talking to Tyler for the first time was honestly a weird experience. It was like Tyler knew my life story and kind of just got me. There was this unspoken connection that the two of us had. It felt like we had been friends forever. He got all of my “Drake and Josh” references, he went into Ulta with me and didn’t complain once, and we both loved queso. I couldn’t imagine a better first date. At the end of our date after we hugged and said goodbye, I remember getting in my car and letting out an enormous sigh of air and saying, “Oh my God. I think I found my soulmate.”
I know you’re probably thinking that it sounds absolutely ridiculous. Believe me, I never thought you could fall in love with someone after a month let alone one date. But this one just felt so different. I felt like myself but ten times better. Tyler took an interest to all of my hobbies and wanted to participate and become involved with them and I felt the same exact way. We made a bucket list of things we wanted to experience and accomplish with each other. I got so worked up and excited just even thinking about it because I loved being around him. I felt like a happier and better version of myself. He made me want to work hard and take care of myself because I felt so good about myself. I would have never thought in a million years that the best way to better myself was through finding love.
Slowly, I started making minor improvements in my everyday life. I started drinking more water and eating healthier. A couple of weeks later, I started to working out at the gym and began to lose weight. The ironic thing was that I wasn’t trying to lose weight for my boyfriend, I was trying to lose weight for myself because I knew that I had found someone who unconditionally loved me and pushed me to be a better version of myself. Two weeks later, I started finding myself not wearing my hair extensions and makeup. I felt like I could go out and be completely comfortable with being my real and natural self. I didn’t have to hide through clip-in hair and layers of foundation to feel confident. I felt confident because I knew on the inside that for the first time in my life, I was dating a man that accepted my flaws and loved me unconditionally. I became more organized, started to spend more time with my family, and overall just became a better person. I’ve never felt better in my entire life now that I’m dating Tyler. He has made me become a better person because he has taught me what the true meaning of love is and how to love myself.
Even though I told myself I wasn’t going to date because I wanted to take some time to work on myself, I’ve learned that it is possible to work on yourself even when being in a relationship. Sometimes, you just need a person to push you and that tells you things you don’t want to hear but supports you regardless. Tyler has become one of my biggest cheerleaders and support systems. (besides my parents of course) I’ve gained this concept of self acceptance and self respect that I was never able to do no matter how many times I tried when I was single. Tyler has taught me what the true meaning of loving and respecting others and now that I’ve experienced that, I hold myself to the same expectations. I stopped putting myself down constantly, editing the heck out of my pictures, and focusing on all of my weaknesses. I have learned to love my imperfections and to look at myself and feel beautiful inside and out because I know that I am. I didn’t start loving myself because I started dating Tyler and I felt like my heart was full and I felt like someone actually loved me. I fell in love with myself because finally someone gave me a reality check and made me realize all of the wonderful and positive things about myself.